Can it be as simple as this?

On Tuesday at 6.45 pm, knock on door and who should be there but local constabulary with summons to attend local court next day at 10.00am.

Item number xxx on list, failure to pay speeding fine camera offence.

When the matter was called I appeared, the Magistrate asked was I Mr. “My Surname”.

I said “I am the party known as Paul of the family “my surname”’.

Well Paul! How do you plead?

I said, “I am here by special appearance and I have not come to testify but I do have a question. As the plaintiff and its representative are claiming aggrieved status by contracting a third party to issue a fine for an alleged offence should we not be hearing from them first?”

A fellow called Fred Nerk from the Crown Solicitors Office represented the State Debt Recovery Office was the Prosecutor. He went through the detail of time of alleged offence; the kms per hour recorded and had a 10×8 photo in his hand. He held it up so the Magistrate could see it and said “This is Mr. “Surname’s” car your worship”.

I said, “I have not been presented with any material facts or evidence that that is my car and the unfinished part of my question is, is the plaintiff in court?”

The Magistrate says to Nerk “who is the real plaintiff in this matter?”

Before Nerk replies I pipe up and say “Is it not that the Camera is the real plaintiff in the matter and I further ask is the Camera going to testify?”

Nerk has a bit of a stutter and stammer. Without lifting his head, Magistrate raises one eyebrow, looks at me and says “Case dismissed!”

Nerk yells out, “What about costs your worship?”

Magistrate says, “I don’t think we should pursue this matter any further Mr. Nerk.”

He was in the foyer as I went out talking to what appeared to be other solicitors, he pointed at me and they all looked around.

I said to myself, “Checkmate!”